It’s been 10 years since I stepped through the entrance to the park and for a brief moment, it was like nothing had changed. I’m walking through and I’m reliving memories, even before I entered the park memories were flooding back, funny memories, happy memories but tinted with a little bit of sadness because of how much things have really changed.
Boutham Park has been quite heavily renovated so there are things there now, that wasn’t there before. Play area and a huge cafe which must mean the park has had quite the pick up to 10 years ago. It’s weird because literally as I’m walking through the park it’s almost as though I’m watching a playback of my youth, of the memories with family and friends that I had there.
The bandstand, still stood on its own surrounded by a mass of green field and tree’s, the memories were all there. I thought that re-visiting the park would be hard and that I wouldn’t wanna stay there, or maybe I’d not want to go back but it’s had the opposite effect. It made me feel happy and strong, strong because I was able to think back and smile and still enjoy my day with my partner.
It almost felt as though I was closing a chapter of my life where I’m going to stop letting my past control where I go in my home city. I felt like a weight had lifted and a walk that would have made me anxious before made me feel stronger than ever and If it wasn’t for the fact I was getting cold, I’d have probably spent so much more time there just walking and re-living it all and making new memories there with Stewart.
We saw an abundance of baby ducks and birds, had a play on the zip line like the big children we are and just had a really lovely, chilled afternoon.
As I write this post i’ve never felt so comfortable at content with my life as I do now. I was always scared to go back to places where memories were made, good or bad incase the people that I made them with were there and whilst our brains like to make us think a little strangely, the truth is this;
Life moves on. We’re a decade into the future and the people that I made those old memories, experienced happiness, pain and experienced all sort’s of experiences have their own lives, married, having children and just being them.
I’m on a journey everyday to overcoming my issues and anxieties so I can too start thinking about marriage, children and just being me, and being true to me and not saying things that people want to hear.
Boutham Park holds so many memories for me and before they werent exactly painful to look back on but uncomfortable and I felt very anxious when I did that but now, I’m hugely grateful for the park and everything it holds for me there. Old memories and new memories that I’ll be able to tell my children one day and not feel as though it’s going to affect me negatively.