Passionate about pets, mental health and spreading positivety.

Tag: mental health

Family Memories And The Blues

Family Memories And The Blues

This post is coming from a really personal perspective. I woke up this morning thinking of old memories and usually, they’d make me smile looking back but this time I’m just disappointed and sad. Family Memories and The Blues I’m scrolling through Instagram and I […]

Glad Last Week Is Over

Glad Last Week Is Over

Monday 1st April – April Fools Day! The first day to myself from last week’s antics. 4 days of Stewart off work really took it out of me, he’s like a little puppy and needs attention all the time. Hosting mothers day afternoon tea was […]

A Self Care Week

A Self Care Week

Having had a few tough weeks I made it my ultimate goal this week to do nothing too stressful or strenuous and spend time with family and practice self care. It baffles me how two separate weeks of doing the same thing can feel completely different and have a different effect on your mood and mental health. Last week I did nothing and found myself aggravated and somewhat uncomfortable because I wanted to be out and doing something, this week, I’ve done the exact same as last week however it was intentional this time and I actually feel really better for it.

Self Care Week

I’ve had a bubble bath EVERY – DAY which is something I don’t usually do at all, mainly because my skin doesn’t let me but this week it has been particularly nice to me and I’ve loved splashing in the bubbles and I’ve accompanied most with a plate of sweeties and music, not going to be great for the weight loss but was, in fact, great for my mind.

self care week

I’ve also purposely not stressed myself out in regards to the state of the house and I’ve actually taken my time every day to do the house chores, but it got done and it got done to the exact same standard and had a lot less stress involved. All in all, after this week I’ve been completely calm.

I’ve also noticed, due to cutting myself some slack I am actually on top form and usually when I’m writing these weekly updates I’m also thinking about the number of things I have to do (usually the laundry pile how two people produce so much washing I have no idea) however, today all my chores are done before 12 pm. The sun is beaming through my window and I am typing this up as calmly as you can possibly be with a bird nibbling at your fingertips.

We took a trip to Stewart’s mum’s house (can’t remember what day now because all my days roll into one!). It was a short and sweet visit, we devoured a cracking Chinese and managed to catch up. Mum, Nan, and Eli came to visit on Friday which was really nice, we took a mooch around some shops and obviously, we can’t go anywhere without nans obligatory coffee at costa beforehand and that was that. We spent all the other time of Stewart’s days off doing small DIY bits to the house.

There are a bunch of apps available which can help you chillax. One such app is “Focusly”. I’ve secured a 7 day free trial just for you guys! Click this link and get started with guided meditation, breathing exercises and soothing music, or hit the banner below to take you straight to their website!

What have you been up to this week? Do you ever indulge in full self care weeks or do you just stick to a day or evening routine? I’m interested to know.

Photographs From The Week

self care week

self care week
Click on the image above to follow Birdie’s Instagram account!

self care week


self care week
You can be kept up to date more on our home Instagram, @atnumber20. Click the image above..




How To Support Others When You Feel Low Too

How To Support Others When You Feel Low Too

It doesn’t take a genius to know you’re not the only one in the world with problems, correct? It also doesn’t take a genius to understand that it can be extremely difficult to listen to other people’s problems and woes when you’re potentially feeling equally […]

48 Hours Without Wi-Fi – What I Learnt

48 Hours Without Wi-Fi – What I Learnt

Imagine the heart wrenching moment you’re told you have to go a whole day or two without WiFi. How nauseous you suddenly feel due to the fear speeding through your veins. You’re plagued by the single question, What am I going to do without the […]

How Leaving Education Improved My Mental Health

How Leaving Education Improved My Mental Health

Leaving education, when first thought about scared the living crap out of me. Little did I know that it would be the best thing for my mental health. What the hell was I going to do with all that spare time, maybe I’d go back into education and take my studies further. I didn’t know. Before I graduated my first time around with an HND (Higher National Diploma) my feelings regarding leaving the education system were always there. I felt good that I was going back into education to complete my course and get a degree.

September 2017 came around. Something felt different (I’d not graduated yet!) The atmosphere at college had changed. My best friend had left to have a baby and I was left completely alone. My class was TINY which didn’t help my feelings. I felt completely lost. I didn’t let this deter me though and I still continued to work my socks off even though I constantly felt uncomfortable. I just had to keep reminding myself that the last two years flew by and this one will too. I thought it would all be worth it in the end.

Graduation came a month later. I got to graduate with my best friend and my family came to see me graduate and get my (fake) certificate. To be honest the whole charade was boring but never the less I was proud of myself.

Some time passed and things started to become extremely difficult. I stopped going into college because of so many reasons.

I can not possibly tell you how many times that We’d be told something by a tutor, I’d write it down being the organised person I am and then a couple of weeks later, we’d be told differently by another tutor, We’d explain that we were told differently by another tutor, who would later claim that they didn’t say that. Clearly, I’m a nutcase.

This wasn’t the only issue. I’d ask tutors about whether or not I should write in a certain way, they’d say yes and then in my assessment feedback, they’d criticize me for doing so. I’d write so much that it had become a joke, a joke making me feel extremely conscious about my work meaning I was much more comfortable working in an environment where nobody else was around – at home.

 

mental health

 

so at this point I am feeling like I’m in a different dimension to everyone else because I’m writing down supposedly information that was never said, I’m feeling completely paranoid in my workload and also, asking the tutors a question for them to respond to me with a go ahead and then be later told that I shouldn’t have done that, my mind is not a pleasant place to be.

Things then started to become hard at home. I didn’t want to see anyone and I didn’t want to communicate with anyone because I was feeling drained, to say the least. I managed, to only just completed my final year at college. I was so close to quitting many times towards the end because honestly, I was finding it extremely hard not to say something I’d maybe, or in hindsight maybe not regret.  The end of year show was the absolute nail in the coffin for me (you can read that post here) and mentally I couldn’t do it anymore. I showed my face at the main event because my family wanted me there but then I needed to get out before I did something I’d probably get arrested for.

Moving on…

Since leaving college in May, I’ve felt like a completely different human. I get days where I feel the ”aftershocks” if you like of how I felt every day when I was at college for that final year and it makes me so grateful that I am no longer living that life.

I am happier, I am feeling amazing.  I know I’m not going batshit crazy and on top of that, I’ve got amazing relationships with everyone around me. I’m happy working hard on my photography, blog and other business adventures and I honestly cannot believe how leaving college could be the thing to make me feel better.

I’m often greeted with the ”Aren’t you happy you did the final year though?” and the answer is always, no. I learnt nothing new, everyone was so disconnected from each other and I could have really done without it to be honest. Even now, 2 months later, I am still feeling the incredibly anxious feelings about how that place made me feel just by reliving it through this post.

It’s important to remember that everyone has different views and opinions on their own experiences. People read situations differently to others but what is ultimately the most important is how you feel and how that affects the way that you feel and your mental health. If someone else had an amazing experience, then good for them. Don’t let them make you feel like your feelings are completely wrong because they had a difference in experience or opinion.

I won’t be attending my graduation in September and the last graduation was good enough to prove to me that my family will be just as proud of me this time as they were last time. I don’t need to go to the actual event but to everyone else going, have a ball.

 

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What It’s Like Being A Photographer With Anxiety

What It’s Like Being A Photographer With Anxiety

It’s certainly not easy having anxiety in general, let alone being a photographer with anxiety and having it affect your work. As a photographer, it’s crucial that you’re able to communicate with people – clients in order to get work. Does anybody actually want a […]

How To Deal With People Not Liking You

How To Deal With People Not Liking You

We all go through life with people taking a dislike to us, whether it’s strangers, friends or even family; sometimes for no reason at all. This will always be one of life’s mysteries but usually stems from jealousy in most cases unless you’ve done something […]

Best Of January; Getting Glasses & Baby Cuddles

Best Of January; Getting Glasses & Baby Cuddles

January has been a very long month. It’s weird that it’s actually no longer than the other months we encounter but for some reason, it really does feel as though it goes on forever and ever.
On reflection it’s not been great and it could be a lot worse, however, I feel like this month has been quite hard to deal with due to intense fatigue I’ve been experiencing alongside the news of my family dog having only 3 more months to live due to a form of blood cancer and my antidepressants have been increased.
On the positive side maybe now that my antidepressants have been increased I might be able to get on with some of those new years resolutions I set myself a month ago and the main problem for a while has been my eyesight and I’ve finally bit the bullet and got that sorted and now am a proud owner of spectacles so hopefully- goodbye migraines!
We traveled to the peak district this month to get some adventure and photographs in and got caught in a snowstorm, I will link the photography posts below. Next month should be really good as we are going away to Cumbria for a weekend and my darling star of a sister is house sitting and furbaby sitting for me whilst I and Stewart are gone.
I also got the pleasure of meeting, cuddling and photographing the cutest baby boy I have ever seen in my life and let me tell you, he smelt better than I ever imagined and was such a delight and absolute natural in front of the camera, clearly it’s in his blood his mamma, caitylis is also a complete natural in front of the camera.
I’ve had such a productive January in the sense of photography, 4 shoots in one month is more than I did last year as a whole!! Feb is going to be such a busy month I feel, and with it already being a few days shorter than other months, it’s just going to fly.

 

 

 

 

 

Peak district blog posts;
www.shannon-matthews.com

 

Mentis Salutem

Mentis Salutem

It’s been a while since I last posted. There are reasons for that though. Life has been hard these last few weeks, I’ve kind of kept it on the low down because nobody needs my problems to add on to their own. My mental state […]