I have had the most draining and emotional week I have had in a very long time. I’ve had an equal share of ups and downs however the downs have completely outweighed the ups.
Me and Stewart adopted a bunny, Harley. Unfortunately, there were some pretty nasty rabbit fights between her and Olive that we had to rehome her. This broke my heart because I’d bonded with her so quickly and I absolutely loved her. Fortunately, Mum was looking for another rabbit to bond with her boy rabbit, Gandalf. Long story short we took Harley to meet Gandalf and they got on pretty instantly and now, a few days after her moving to her new home, she is best friends with Gandalf and that makes me so happy to know she is happy.
Whilst we were at mums she gave us a hamster cage, hamsters aren’t expensive pets so we decided to go get a hamster. As soon as I saw her I knew I wanted her. The fact she was filling her cheeks up with food and taking it back to her bed with her made me fall in love. She was me. We got her home, got her settled and she kept us up all night running around on her little wheel.
Sadly, just as I thought the week was looking up, Pip, my lion head rabbit took a turn for the worst. This was the most horrendous day of my life so far. I’m frantically calling Stewart who is at work (40 missed calls and uncountable messages!) because my rabbit is dying in front of my eyes and I am completely helpless, there was absolutely nothing I could have done to ease her suffering and it pains me to think of her suffering. Stewart finally answered the phone and I basically hysterically screamed at him to get home because pip was dying. Unfortunately, he didn’t get home in time and she’d gone to bunny heaven before we could rush her to the vets. My heart shattered into 1000 tiny little pieces and I found tears creeping out my eyes all day and night.
Rabbits have such huge characters for such small animals and losing them is such a kick in the gut, the dynamics in the house really isn’t the same not having pip follow you around, hoping you might drop a piece of carrot or broccoli on the floor and climbing all over you when you lay down with her.
Even Stewart, a man who claims he has no feelings towards anything was broken. I’ve never seen him cry as much as he did when he got home from work, I think it might have taken a while for the news to set in for him and it crushed us both.
Anxiety took over and I ended up taking 2 of my other rabbits to the out of hours, just for peace of mind. £240 for a consultation and an antibiotic shot is completely daylight robbery. I am seriously considering looking into opening my own out of hours vets that don’t cost a bloody mortgage to get your animals seen. (If anybody knows how I’d go about this, seriously hit me up!)
A loss is such a hard thing to deal with, whether or not it is a family member, friend or pet. You need to be able to let yourself mourn. I’ve cried so many tears that I don’t think I have any left. My animals are my absolute life, they’re my children and losing them is my worst fear and crying your heart out actually makes you feel so much better than keeping it all locked up inside. This morning although my heart is still aching terribly from the fact she isn’t sprawled out like the princess she was in the middle of the living room rug, I feel a bit better. I can’t stop thinking about her. I honestly miss her so much but I need to keep my head high for my other fur babies.